Kangaroos & Chaos
Interior. Sonic Boom
Ally: (Talking to customer) This violin was made of the finest maple wood, it was hand carved- would you excuse me for a sec? Yeah. (Talking to Austin & Dez) Do you guys have to do that here?
Austin: Hey,we're not complaining that you're working right in the middle of our banjo badmiton court.
Dez: We'd rather make a music video but somebody hasn't finish writing the song yet.
Ally: I'm busy working!
Dez: Fine, then we're busy badmintoning. Game point! (Smashes banjo)
Ally: Would you like to pay cash for that or should I put it on your tab?
Dez: Just put it on the tab.
Ally: Okay! (holds up long receipt)
Lester Dawson: (enters) Well, I'm off to the accordion convention and "accordion" to my watch, I shouldv'e left an hour ago. (laugh)
Dez: (laugh)
Lester: Well, sweetie you are in charge. The store looks a little crowded, you sure you're okay?
Ally: Actually, Dad, I-
Lester: Glad to hear it! Bye-bye!
Ally: Okay, okay. Um, here's yor changes, here's your kazoo, trumpets are over there, no this isn't the eye doctor!
Man: (Walks into the door and falls on Cymbals)
Trish: Guess who got a job at The Yo-Yo Cart?! Watch this! (swings arms)
Team Austin: (All except Trish hides behide the counter)
Trish: (Gets tangled in the yo-yos) Hold on. It's uh, my first day, probably my last. So, (chuckles) Ally, have you finish writing Austin's new song?
Ally: I'm almost done.I've just been very busy lately, work, school, book club. I have to read this by tomorrow. (Put a giant book on the counter)
Austin: Tomorrow? Of what year?
Dez: Well, we need a song. We can't make a video without a song.
Ally: Hey, it's not like I've been spending all my free time training to eat a 20 pound hamburger.
Dez: You're just jealous. (holds up trophy)
Trish: Ally, if we don't get the video on the website quick, people are going to forget who Austin is.
Dez: Seriously, it's been a whole month since the last video.
Austin: Guys, cut Ally some slack! A month isn't that long. It's pretty hard to forget Austin Moon!
Two teenage girls walk into Sonic Boom
Girl: Hey! It's Raphie Hayes from the dog food commercial!
Austin: Dog food commercial? Ally, you've have to finish that song now!
Ally: Fine, (Scribble something down on a piece of paper) you want the song? (Throws it at Austin) Here!
Austin: See? That wasn't so hard.
Girl: No way! It's the guy who won the 20 pound hamburger contest! Can I have an autograph?
Dez: Sure, turn around. (Signs the girl's jacket with ketchup)
Team Austin: (All except Dez) Ew!....
Theme Song
Interior. Sonic Boom
Ralphie: (on TV) Ralphie Hayes here for Yummy Time Dog Food. So good; a human could eat it. (picks up a bowl of said food and eats it)
Announcer: Warning, do not eat; Yummy Time Dog Food is for dogs only.
Ralphie: (with food in his mouth) Yummy.
Austin: (TV is switched off; he and Ally head down the stairs) Are you kidding me? That guy doesn't look like me at all.
Dez: (gesturing to the food with his spoon) This dog food is horrible.
Austin: (facing Dez) We need to shoot this video soon. I don't want to be remembered as the guy who looks like the guy who sells horrible-tasting dog food. (Dez offers him some of the dog food; Austin gives him a look and Dez just eats it)
Trish: (entering Sonic Boom) Guess who got a job at the Dry Cleaners?
Ally: (moving to face Trish) What happened to your job at the Yo-Yo Cart?
Trish: It's a long, complicated story.
Ally: You got fired.
Trish: Huh, I guess it's not that long or complicated. (takes the garment bag off of the leather jacket) Check out this amazing jacket I'm borrowing from work, for the music video.
Ally: Doesn't that belong to somebody?
Trish: Yeah, some big, burly, ultimate fighter guy named Face Puncher.
Ally: Face Puncher? You took a jacket from a guy named Face Puncher? Know what he's going to do?
Dez & Austin: Face punch! (in slow motion, Austin pretends to punch Dez)
Trish: Don't worry about it. He'll never know. He's coming to pick the jacket up at 8.
Austin: Wait, what does the jacket have to do with the music video?
Trish: It's a line in Ally's song. (looks at the piece of paper that Ally threw at Austin earlier and reads a line) My jacket's in the lost and found.
Ally: (taking the paper from Trish) My jacket? It says I like it. The line is I like it when you hang around.
Dez: (takes the paper from Ally) Hang around? I thought it said kangaroo.
I like it when you kangaroo...
Ally: (snatches the paper back) Why would I write I like it when you kangaroo?
Dez: Look, nobody's accusing you of writing good lyrics.
Ally: Uh, those aren't the lyrics. My handwriting was only sloppy because everyone was rushing me. I went to calligraphy camp!
Austin: Book club, calligraphy camp. Now you're just making stuff up. (Ally gives Austin a look)
Dez: Well, whatever. I still think Austin wearing a cool, leather jacket singing with a kangaroo would make an awesome music video.
Austin: I don't know; I'm starting to worry about this video. I think we need to come up with a better idea.
Dez: Yeah, might be a little late for that. (crosses his arms)
Animal Guy: (enters Sonic Boom with a kangaroo) Somebody order a kangaroo? (Team Austin turns around in shock; Dez puts his hand to his head in nervousness)
Interior. Ally's Practice Room
Ally: (walking towards the kangaroo) Aww, he's so cute. (steps in something and looks down) Aww, I just stepped in kangaroo poop.
Dez: Whoa whoa, not so fast. You don't know that wasn't the kangaroo; Trish was in here earlier.
Trish: I will smack those freckles right off your face. (Dez puts his hands to his face)
Austin: So, what's this kangaroo going to do in this video besides poop?
Dez: Well, I was thinking of him being the band.
Austin: That's a great idea! (gets his guitar and heads toward the kangaroo) Hey buddy, wanna play some guitar? (the kangaroo kicks the guitar and it crashes through the window) I think he'd rather play drums.
Ally: The window! (she runs to the window)
Trish: (sees the kangaroo chewing on the jacket) Oh, the jacket!
Dez: The door!
Austin: (he and everyone else is now facing the door) What's wrong with the door?
Dez: Nothing; I thought we were just naming stuff in the room. (the jacket falls onto the floor)
Trish: No, the kangaroo is chewing Face Puncher's jacket! (the kangaroo and Dez play tug of war with the jacket)
Dez: (keeps on repeating himself) Let it go. C'mon kangaroo, c'mon, let it go! (the kangaroo suddenly lets go and it flies into a bucket of caramel) (Trish runs to the jacket)
Trish: Oh, what is this?
Dez: It's caramel. (Trish drops the jacket back into the bucket)
Trish: Ugh, caramel? Why?
Dez: Well, I couldn't read Ally's handwriting and I wasn't sure if she wrote camel or caramel, so I just got them both.
Ally: You ordered a camel too?!
Dez: Uh, no. (door opens to reveal Animal Guy again)
Animal Guy: Did somebody order a camel? (Dez slams the door in his face)
Ally: We've got to fix this mess before my dad gets back.
Trish: And we have to fix the jacket! Face Puncher's coming back at 8! I could lose my job! Which I don't care about, but still! He might face punch me.
Dez: And someone's going to have to mop up this Trish poop.
Trish: Hmm, keep it up, and someone's going to have to mop up all your freckles.
Dez: My freckles are my friends! Can you say that about your poop?
Austin: So, what about my video?
Ally: Can we worry about something other than your career for one minute?
Austin: I barely have a career. If you hadn't taken a whole month to write a new song, maybe people wouldn't think I'm the dog food guy.
Ally: Hang on. Are you actually blaming me because you think you're not as popular as you used to be?
Austin: No, of course not. I'm just saying that maybe if you'd written the song faster, then we'd have- You know what, now that I'm saying this out loud, I think that is what I was saying.
Ally: I can't just spit out a song any time you want me to! Lyrics don't just flow out of me like a river after a rain of tears. (suddenly realizes) Oh, that's good. (scurries towards her book)
Austin: Hey Ally, you know what? Maybe you should write that so we can actually read it this time.
Dez: (walking over to Ally from the camera) Yeah, Miss Calligraphy Camp. (chuckles)
Ally: (writes down something in her book) Can you read this?
Dez: (Reads from the book) Yes, I can. And that is not a nice word! (opens door to leave; when he sees the Animal Guy still there, he quickly closes the door again and leans on it)
Interior. Sonic Boom
Trish: (they all come down the stairs from the practice room) There's got to be some way to clean this jacket.
Ally: You work at a dry cleaners.
Trish: Right! I bet they have some sort of jacket-cleaning machine!
Ally: I'd better go with you. You guys watch the store; I'll call Martin the Mall Maintenance Guy to fix the window. My dad sees this mess; I am toast.
Trish: And if we don't fix Face Puncher's jacket, I'm toast.
Austin: And if we don't get a good video up on the site soon, my whole career's toast. (giving Ally a look)
Dez: Anyone else craving toast right now? (pulls a toaster out of his backpack; catches the toast that comes out)
Interior. Dry Cleaners.
Ally: (while she's scrubbing the jacket) And I don't know what Austin expects; he doesn't appreciate the fact that I can't spend every minute of every day writing songs; even if I could, it takes time to write a good song.
Trish: He needs to understand that trying to rush you doesn't help anything.
Ally: Thanks, Trish. I knew you would-
Trish: Hurry up with the jacket! We don't have all day!
Interior. Sonic Boom
Austin: (customers surround him) I don't know, I don't know, No, this is not the ear doctor!
Dez: (coming out of the practice room) Austin! Austin, a little help please?
Austin: I'm really busy; I promised Ally that I'd watch the store; I can't just leave a stranger in charge. (Dez runs back into the practice room)
Austin: (hears crashes from upstairs) Hey stranger, you're in charge. (jumps up from the counter; runs upstairs) I'm coming, buddy!
Interior. Dry Cleaners
Ally: Ugh, I tried like seven different things. Everything I used keeps getting caramel to the jacket.
Trish: (sees Face Puncher come to the door; panics) That's Face Puncher! (they both panic; Trish throws the jacket somewhere; she and Ally come up to the counter)
Face Puncher: I'm here for my jacket.
Ally: You're Face Puncher? You don't look like a face puncher. You look like a hand-holder, or a hug-giver! (leans in and opens her arms; he growls and she backs away) No hugs!
Trish: Uh, you're early. The jacket's not supposed to be ready until 8.
Face Puncher: (looks at his ticket) No, it's supposed to be ready now. (slams ticket onto the counter; Ally and Trish flinch)
Trish: (picks up the ticket; she and Ally look at it) Oh, look at that. You're right. I misread the ticket; it's cause I'm a horrible employee, ask anybody!
Ally: Actually, she wouldn't be that bad if she just applied herself-
Trish: Ally!
Ally: She is the worst!
Face Puncher: (snatches the ticket back) I'll be back at 8. And it better be ready, cause Mad Dog's gonna be with me, and Mad Dog hates waiting. (he exits the store)
Trish: (exhales in relief) That was close.
Ally: Close? He'll be back in a few hours! And he's bringing Mad Dog with him.
Trish: Oh, right. (spots the washing machine) Maybe the Super Duper Washing Machine will do the trick!
Ally: Trish, do you know how to use that thing?
Trish: Of course not! (stuffs the jacket into the machine) (hears the bell ring, indicating that there is a new customer) I'll be right with you. (they both turn around to see the kangaroo) You see the kangaroo too, right?
Ally: (nods) Uh-huh.
Interior. Practice Room
Austin: (Austin and Dez are cleaning up the wrecked room; Trish and Ally enter) You'll never guess what happened.
Ally: The kangaroo ran away!
Austin: Man, you're good at this game.
Trish: How could you lose a kangaroo?!?! (walking towards Dez)
Dez: Well, I was attaching a camera to its pouch when I accidentally stepped on its tail and woke him up from a deep, dark sleep. And then for no reason, he just freaked out.
Ally: Why would you attach a camera to a kangaroo?
Austin: Because we're trying to make an awesome video! Are me and Dez the only ones who care about my career any more?
Ally: I care about your career! I'm just not going to overreact because one person didn't know who you were.
Martin: Hey Ally, I'm here-Whoa! It's Ralphy Hayes, the dog food guy!
Austin: I'm not the dog food guy... (walks off)
Ally: Hey Martin, can you fix the window before my dad gets back?
Martin: No problem, I've fixed a lot of (has a double take when he sees the window) Whoa! This thing is really broken, you are in so much trouble, this is bad! This is bad! (starts to leave)
Ally: (pulls him back in) Calm down, Martin! How much is it going to cost?
Martin: Eh, probably not that- (sees the window again and freaks out) Whoa! This is gonna cost a lot; that's double pane glass; I gotta get it custom-built and then I gotta pick it up, and it's so hard to find parking and the place isn't even open until- (Trish interrupts him)
Trish: (screaming) How much is it going to cost?!
Ally: (Martin scribbles a number on a piece of paper and hands it to Trish; Trish hands it to Ally) It can't be that bad- (sees the price) Whoa! This is bad, this is bad!
Interior. Sonic Boom
Austin: I can't wait for this mess to be over so we can get back to shooting my video. Some lady just made me take a picture with her dog.
Ally: I hope you charge her five hundred dollars for it, because that's how much we need to fix the window. (Dez runs in throwing food on the floor) Dez, what are you doing?
Dez: Leaving a trail of mangoes, croutons, and fish sticks. Everyone knows it's how you attract kangaroos. (a llama enters the store) Oh wait, that's how you attract a llama! Ugh!
Austin: Hang on. The kangaroo's got your video camera, right? Isn't it synced to our computers?
Dez: Yes. We can watch the live video feed and see where the kangaroo is. (they head over to the piano where Dez takes his tablet out; they see people running away)
Ally: That's by the food court!
Dez: (running to exit Sonic Boom) Here I come, kangaroo! (runs in a circle around Trish before finally exiting)
Trish: Guess who just solved all of our problems?
Ally: You did?
Trish: Yup!
Austin: Man, Ally. How are you so good at this game?
Trish: Here's the deal: An hour from now, Austin is gonna perform a song in the store. I've pre-sold a hundred tickets at six bucks a piece. (hands money to Ally) Here's five hundred bucks.
Ally: That should be six hundred.
Trish: What, I needed a new purse to carry all the money in.
Ally: Well, this is great. Now we can fix the window!
Austin: Seriously? A hundred people bought tickets to see me?
Trish: Yup, seven bucks a piece!
Ally: You said six.
Trish: So what? I'm gonna get a new purse and not get new shoes to match 'em? C'mon.
Ally: Cute!
Austin: This is awesome. And I thought nobody knew who I was before. Take that, Dog Food Guy! Whoo! (runs upstairs)
Ally: This is incredible. I can't believe all those people bought tickets to see Austin perform!
Trish: Well...
Ally: Uh oh, that was a long well. What did you do?
Trish: Well...-Sorry. Everyone's actually coming to get their picture taken with the kangaroo. Austin's more like the unannounced opening act.
Ally: What? If he finds out, it'll crush him. You saw how excited he was!
Trish: Then I guess he can't find out. (finally notices the llama) You see the llama too, right?
Interior. Sonic Boom
Trish: (laughing at something on her laptop) Oh, this is the best show I've ever seen!
Ally: (writing in her songbook) What is it?
Trish: It's called "Dez Gets His Butt Kicked By a Kangaroo." (Starts laughing again. The view pans to the laptop, where Dez is dodging the kangaroo's attacks) Ooh, ouch! Oh, that is not a place you want a kangaroo to kick you. Ooh. (stops watching the laptop) Umm, what are you doing?
Ally: I'm writing some new lyrics for Austin's song. Since people are coming to see the kangaroo and not him, I want to help Austin give the best performance he can.
Trish: You're not going to tell him about the kangaroo, are you?
Ally: Well...
Trish: Ally!
Ally: No, I'm - I'm just torn because I hate lying to people, but I know how much it'll hurt him to know the truth.
Trish: I'm torn too. I need Dez to get the kangaroo back here but (turns back to the laptop) I never want this to end. (Resumes laughing). Ouch! That one's gonna leave a mark. That's gonna leave a mark.
Interior. Ally's Practice Room

Whoa, cause I know that I'll make it
Never put my head doooown
t-turn it up♫ (Ally enters the room; Austin turns around to face her) Hey Ally. Just practicing for the show. There's a lot of people coming to see me.


Yeah. (nervously laughs) Coming to see you, only you. Not an animal from Australia! Why would I say that? (hands Austin a roll of paper) Here, I wrote some new lyrics. I just want you to have the best show you can since people aren't really coming to see you. (realizes what she has said) Perform a bad show. (nervously laughs again) Which you won't! Gotta go. (starts to leave)

Austin: Wait. (chases her) I'm sorry about giving you a hard time with the song. I was just nervous that maybe no one knew who I was any more. But obviously that's not the case.
Ally: (nervously laughs again) Definitely not the case; apology accepted; got to go. (starts to leave again; Trish and Dez enter and block her from leaving)
Dez: Finally, I got the kangaroo! That was not easy.
Trish: Now people can finally see who they came for. (points at the kangaroo; Ally moves her hand so that she points at Austin)
Ally: You, haha! Gotta go. (exits the room)
Interior. Sonic Boom
Austin: (lots of people are roaming in the store; he runs out of the practice room) What's up, everybody! Woo! (people tentatively clap; Austin runs down the stairs; Ally, Trish and Dez all clap and woo enthusiastically) Thanks for coming out.
Teenage Girl: Where's the kangaroo? (people agree with her question)
Austin: Oh, we caught him; he's upstairs. Thanks for your concern; he's all good. Alright, this is a new song, it's called A Billion Hits, and I hope you guys like it. (dances while singing A Billion Hits) (after the song ends, everyone is enthusiastically clapping and wooing; they then chant his name)
Interior. Dry Cleaners
Dez: (everyone is watching the footage) See, the footage is sick. I can totally cut this together into a great new live video for the new song, and have it up on the site tonight. (they compliment him)
Ally: You really won those people over. (slight chuckle) They came for the kangaroo, but they stayed for the moon.
Austin: What do you mean?
Ally: (grabs Trish's shirt) This is why you should not tell me secrets. (faces Austin) Um, uh, those people weren't exactly there to see you. They were there to get their picture taken with the kangaroo.
Austin: So those people didn't know who I was?
Ally: Uh, but they do now, and that's all that really matters.
Austin: Okay, I'm cool with that.
Ally: As long as you keep performing like that, there will always be Austin Moon fans.
Austin: Thanks. But as long as you keep writing songs like that, I'll always be an Ally Dawson fan.
Ally: Thanks.
Austin: But please don't make me wait another month for a new song.
Ally: Oh, fine! Read this book for my book club and tell me what it's about. (gives Austin the book; the book is too heavy for him and it, with his grip on it, slams onto the counter)
Austin: It can wait a month.
Trish: (holding a pink, tiny jacket) Uh, guys?
Dez: Wait, the jacket looks different!
Trish: Yeah, cause it shrunk and it's pink!
Dez: No, that's not it.
Face Puncher: (enters the store) Hey! (all four teens flinch and scream) Where's my jacket? It better be ready. Mad Dog's waiting, and Mad Dog hates to wait.
Trish: (puts the jacket on the counter) Here you go. (extends her hand) That'll be six dollars. (sees his glare) Or free. (goes to the back of the room)
Face Puncher: (holding his jacket) My jacket. What did you do to my championship jacket?
Dez: (coming to the front) Yeah, I couldn't figure it out either. (Face Puncher extends his hands out to strangle him; Dez runs back)
Austin: Mr. Face Puncher? This is all my fault. My friends were just trying to help me out, so if you're going to punch someone in the face, it should probably be me. Though, I kind of need my face, so if you could punch me in like the shoulder, the foot, the hip, or even pull my hair-
Face Puncher: How about I punch you in all of the above?! (grabs Austin's jacket; Austin puts his hands in front of him to protect himself)
Mad Dog: Daddy? Hurry up! You know I hate waiting.
Face Puncher: Hang on a sec, Mad Dog. Daddy has a situation.
Ally: That's Mad Dog?
Mad Dog: (sees the jacket) Is that for me? (Her dad helps her put it on) It's beautiful; I love it! You're the best daddy in the whole world ever!
Face Puncher: I knew you'd love it, pumpkin.
Mad Dog: No way! You're Austin Moon! Can you autograph my jacket?
Austin: Of course. (he signs her jacket) There you go.
Mad Dog: Thanks, Austin!
Austin: No problem.
Face Puncher: Hey, aren't you the guy that ate the twenty pound hamburger? (pointing at Dez)
Dez: Why yes, I am. (grabs a ketchup bottle and signs his shirt)
Face Puncher: I didn't ask for an autograph!
Dez: Uh oh! (Face Puncher chases him)
Mad Dog: Beat him up fast, Daddy. You know I hate waiting!
Interior. Ally's Practice Room
Lester: Ally, I'm home from the accordion conven-(sees the kangaroo; talks in a voice usually reserved for babies) Why is there a kangarooie-poo in my room? (the kangaroo starts punching him)
Interior. Mall of Miami
Lester: (Team Austin are laughing at the video) How many times are you going to watch that?
Trish: 'Til it stops being funny. (they resume watching)
Austin, Ally, Trish, Dez: Ohhhh! (Lester leaves and takes the laptop with him) Awwww.
(End credits show, End of Episode)
Rockers & Writers/Transcript
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Secrets & Songbooks/Transcript

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