Secrets & Songbooks | |
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Interior. Sonic Boom | |
Ally: | (Talking to customer) Excuse me, sir. (chuckle) We have a strict store policy that only store employees can take instruments off the display. We don't want anything to break. (Ally grabs a violin to show the customer, and the entire shelf of violins crashes to the ground. Without turning around, Ally knows what happened and is a bit embarrassed by it) Here you go. |
Dez: | (Blowing a sad but comical sting trombone while standing behind a drumset) I've been waiting all day for something bad to happen so I could do that. |
Austin: | Something bad happened this morning when put on that shirt. (plays a quick guitar sting) |
Dez: | Zinger-sting! Sweet! |
Austin & Dez: | What-up! |
Trish: | (Walks into Sonic Boom with an excessive amount of rouge, mascara, and lipstick) Guess who got a job at the... |
Dez: | (interrupting) The clown store? (Rimshot) |
Trish: | No, at the make-up kiosk. They pay in us free samples. And really? You're making clown jokes dressed like that? |
Dez: | Everyone, stop picking on my shirt. |
Trish: | I'm talking about your shoes. |
Dez: | Oh. (Walks to the counter to reveal he's literally wearing clown shoes) |
Trish: | Anyway, I have an announcement... (Austin interrupts her) |
Austin: | Hold on. (Starts a drumroll, which Trish interrupts by grabbing his drumsticks and throwing them out the door, almost hitting some mall patrons walking by.) |
Trish: | I just booked you a gig on TV! |
Austin: | (jumps up and hugs Trish) Thanks! You're the best manager ever! |
Ally: | On what show? |
Trish: | Oh, only Miami's hippest show, South Beach Sound. |
Dez: | Awesome! |
Ally: | Ah! |
Austin: | Sweet! |
Ally: | (walks towards Austin) Austin, this is huge! South Beach Sound is a big deal! Do you know how many stars got their break on that show? |
Austin: | No. How many? |
Ally: | I don't know! (starts laughing) When I get excited, I ask a lot of questions. Why do I do that? (Austin opens his mouth) Uh, don't answer. |
Trish: | Anyhow. They're coming to film Austin at the mall tomorrow; I told them you would write a new song! |
Austin: | Tomorrow? That's not enough time. |
Trish: | Hey, if I can get fired from three jobs in one day, I'm pretty sure you can write one song. Lazy! |
Ally: | We can write a song; luckily I have some new ideas in my book, no worries. (can't find her book) Oh no! Uh, my book is gone! Worries, worries! |
Austin: | Okay, calm down. It's just a book. |
Ally: | It is not just a book! It is my diary and journal and songwriting book all rolled into one. I write all my personal stuff in there; if anyone else reads it, I will die! |
Dez: | (Plays an oddly happy piece on the piano) Oops, sorry. I meant: (plays a minor and gloomy arrangement of minor chords) |
Theme Song | |
Interior. Sonic Boom | |
Ally: | (Runs in through the back door) Where's my book?! Where's my book?! Where's my book?! Trish, can you get off the piano bench so I can see if my book is in there? |
Trish: | Yeah, sure. (Trish is thrown off the bench by Ally) |
Ally: | Ah, it's not in there! (heads to the tuba) |
Austin: | I'm pretty sure there's nothing in the tuba. |
Ally: | (finds a sandwich in it) What kind of disgusting person puts food in a tuba? |
Dez: | Aww, my sandwich! I lost this a month ago. (takes a bite out of it) |
Austin: | Dude, that's just wrong. At least share! (bites into the other side of the sandwich) |
Nelson: | (drags in his own piano) Hello, Ally. I'm here for my piano lesson. |
Ally: | Eh, now is not a good time, Nelson. And I've told you before: you don't need to bring your own piano. |
Nelson: | Oh, I forgot. |
Ally: | Besides, your piano lesson is tomorrow. Today's your oboe lesson. |
Nelson: | Aww, nartz! You know how hard it was to get this on the bus? I'll be back. (starts to push the piano out) |
Ally: | Uh, you guys look for my book here while Trish and I check the Lost & Found. I have to find it before someone reads it! Some of the things I wrote in there are super personal and embarrassing! |
Austin: | Like how you have an imaginary friend named Ms. Pennyworth you talk to when you're stressed? |
Ally: | How do you know about Ms. Pennyworth? I've only ever told one person that secret. |
Trish: | ...Well, obviously, Ms. Pennyworth has been blabbing about you all over town. |
Interior. Lost & Found | |
Trish: | Found it! |
Ally: | My book? |
Trish: | No, my Lost & Found t-shirt from when I worked here at the Lost & Found. Man, I hated this job. All those sad, desperate people, searching for stuff that you'll never see for as long as they live! (sees Ally's dejected look) I mean, we're totally going to find your book! |
Interior. Sonic Boom | |
Austin: | (Dez sniffs the drums, the piano keys, and is about to sniff a violin bow) What are you doing? |
Dez: | Using my super human sense of smell to find Ally's book. (sniffs the bow) |
Austin: | You have a super human sense of smell? What food am I thinking of? |
Dez: | (sniffs Austin's head) Cherry pie. (Austin gives him a look) A la mode. |
Austin: | Wow. (they head up into the practice room; Dez immediately begins sniffing) |
Dez: | (makes his way to the fridge; opens it) Found it! (starts to take out gingerbread house) |
Austin: | Wow. Your nose is amazing. |
Dez: | No, I didn't smell the book; I just remembered that I used it as a roof for my gingerbread house. |
Austin: | (picks up the songbook) Why do you have a gingerbread house? |
Dez: | What? You want my gingerbread men to live out on the street? |
Austin: | (picks up one of the gingerbread men) No, I want him to live in my belly (rubs his belly; bites the head) |
Dez: | Carlos! (snatches the body back; puts the body back and glares at Austin) |
Austin: | C'mon, let's go find Ally. |
Dez: | (closes the fridge) You know, it's a good thing that we found the book and not some stranger who would see the embarrassing and personal stuff she wrote in her book. |
Austin: | (puts the book on the cart) Totally. It's gotta be pretty juicy stuff too, or she wouldn't be so worried about someone reading it. (they start to walk out; they pause, and walk back it) It's gonna be pretty juicy stuff. |
Dez: | So juicy. |
Austin: | What do you think? |
Dez: | It's not like Ally ever told us not to touch her book. |
A brief montage is shown in which five times, Ally tells Austin, Dez, or both of them not to touch her book. | |
Dez: | Okay, what if we didn't open the book but it accidentally got dropped on the floor and opened itself? |
Austin: | There you go!(Dez lifts the book up to drop it; it drops without opening itself) Okay, what if it got stuck to the ceiling with something sticky like jelly, and we could see the pages from down here? |
Dez: | Yes! |
Austin: | Aww, that's crazy. What are we going to do: go all the way to the store to get jelly? By the time we get back- |
Dez: | What do you need? I've got grape, strawberry, boysenberry, I got some jam. I got a bunch of marmalade, some chutney- |
Austin: | This is ridiculous. |
Dez: | You're right. We should just read it. |
Austin: | No! I meant we shouldn't be reading her book at all! |
Dez: | (reading the book) I can't stop now; this is some good stuff. It's all about some guy she has a crush on. (Austin's eyebrows raise; he looks down and reads the book too) |
Austin: | No, it's me. Ally's got a crush on me. |
Dez: | Shhh, don't spoil it; I'm a slow reader. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Whoa! Ally's got a crush on you. |
Austin: | I can't believe Ally has a crush on me. |
Dez: | I can't believe I ate all that jelly. |
Austin: | Ally's awesome, but I just don't feel that way about her. We're two different people. She likes pickles, I like pancakes. She likes reading books, I like having fun. I'm cool and collected, and she chews her hair when she gets nervous! |
Interior. Food Court | |
Trish: | (Ally's chewing her hair) You want some guacamole with that? |
Ally: | Oh, um, sorry, it's probably not very appetizing to watch. |
Trish: | Ooh, I have an idea! Why don't we re-trace your steps from today, and maybe we'll figure out where you left your book. |
Ally: | Okay! Uh, I got here early so I wrote in my book on the bench next to the cell phone accessory cart. Then I went to work, and on my break, I took a walk past the cell phone accessory cart. Then I went- |
Trish: | Wait, why do you keep talking about the cell phone accessory cart? |
Ally: | Um, I'm not! I didn't! Why, did the cute guy who works there ask about me? |
Trish: | No way! You have a crush on the cell phone accessory cart guy! That's what you wrote in your book, isn't it? |
Ally: | Whaaaaat? The cell phone guy? That's crazy, uh, why would I- Holy unlimited texting, he is so cute! |
Interior. Practice Room | |
Dez: | You never know, she might not have been writing about you. |
Interior. Food Court | |
Ally: | I mean, look at him. His kind eyes, hair that flops just the right way. |
Interior. Practice Room | |
Austin: | Kind eyes, hair that flops just the right way; that's so me! (flops his hair and dramatically blinks) |
Dez: | We work so close to each other. |
Interior. Food Court | |
Ally: | And yet we're so far apart. And he smells like a fresh summer breeze! |
Interior. Practice Room | |
Austin: | Like a fresh summer breeze. (Dez lifts Austin's arm up and sniffs it) |
Dez: | Oh yeah, that's summery and breezy. |
Austin: | And what is cooler than a guy named after a city in Texas? |
Dez: | You're right; that's obviously you, Austin. |
Interior. Food Court | |
Ally: | And his name is Dallas. Be cool, here he comes. (leans back in her chair as Dallas walks by) |
Dallas: | Excuse me. |
Ally: | (Trish forces her to stand up) Oh, so you like throwing trash away? (starts awkwardly laughing) |
Dallas: | Uh, yeah, I guess. |
Ally: | No way, me too! (takes the entire tray of food and throws it away) |
Dallas: | Oh, okay. (walks away) |
Trish: | I wasn't done with that. (Ally sits back down and starts chewing her hair) |
Interior. Sonic Boom | |
Austin: | (he and Dez are walking down the stairs) What am I going to do? I don't want things to be all weird between me and- |
Dez: | Ally! (Ally and Trish walk in) |
Trish: | And Trish! I'm short, not invisible. |
Ally: | No way, you found my book! |
Austin: | Yeah, it was in the refri- |
Ally: | (pulls him down into a hug) Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you. (Austin is a little creeped out as she lets him up) I am so relieved. Let's go work on that new song for South Beach Sound. (she and Austin head up the stairs) |
Interior. Practice Room | |
Austin: | Okay, let's get to work. I think we should- (Ally shuts the door) Why'd you shut the door? |
Ally: | Because we always shut the door when we write a song; it's more private. |
Austin: | Maybe we should change that. What do we have to hide? (opens the door) We're writing a song up here with the door open! Wide open... |
Ally: | (gives him a funny look) Uh, we should write something totally different for you to play on South Beach Sound. What about a love song? |
Austin: | What about a like song? |
Ally: | Come on, I've already got a bunch of it figured out. (plays a chord on the piano) ♫ Love, love, love.♫ |
Austin: | ♫ Like, like♫(says this one in a flat tone) Like. |
Ally: | ♫ It's a special kind of feeling.♫ |
Austin: | ♫ But not always so appealing.♫ |
Ally: | ♫ All you want is to get close.♫ |
Austin: | ♫ But too close is kinda gross.♫ |
Ally: | ♫ Gotta go for what you want. ♫ |
Austin: | (says the words really fast) ♫ But just keeping things on a friendly level is also a good option if you want things to stay the same. ♫ (hits another piano chord and stands up) |
Ally: | Uh, you're acting weird. Are-are you okay? |
Austin: | Yeah, I'm fine. Just not feeling this love song. |
Ally: | Austin, I am really feeling this one. I think we're close enough that I can tell you who this song is really about. |
Austin: | (clapping his hands over his ears and running out of the room)If I don't hear it, it's not true! If I don't hear it, it's not true! If I don't hear it, it's not true! If I don't hear it, it's not true! |
Interior. Mall of Miami | |
Ally: | I've never seen Austin act so crazy. He ran out before we could finish our new song. |
Trish: | I wonder if he's nervous about playing on South Beach Sound. |
Dez: | (overhears them; looks up) Nervous? Austin never gets nervous, especially about performing. |
Ally: | Then why is he acting so weird around me? |
Dez: | (says it nervously) Oh, it's because he's nervous! Austin always gets nervous, especially about performing! |
Ally: | Dez... |
Dez: | I don't know anything, why are you grilling me? Can't a guy put a new roof on his gingerbread house in peace? |
Trish: | Ally, I think Dez has something he needs to get off his chest. |
Ally: | Dez, make this easy for yourself. You know I can't control Trish; tell us what you know! |
Dez: | You can hurt me all you want, I'll never tell. I'll never tell! |
Trish: | Oh, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to hurt your family. Your gingerbread family. (picks up a gingerbread man) |
Dez: | Benjamin! (he lunges for Benjamin; Ally holds him back) |
Trish: | We can do this the easy way, or the Trish way. |
Dez: | I can't betray Austin. (Trish bites Benjamin's arm off) No! You monster. |
Ally: | Dez. You can end all this senseless suffering right now. Tell us! |
Dez: | Never! |
Trish: | I wonder what Benjamin would look like without a head. |
Dez: | Austin read Ally's song book and knows she has a crush on him! |
Trish & Ally: | What? |
Dez: | There. Now you know everything. (Ally picks her songbook up; Trish bites Benjamin's head) What are you doing? I said I told you everything! |
Trish: | I know, but Benjamin's really tasty. (sees Ally walk away) Where are you going? |
Ally: | To find Austin and confront him about reading my book. |
Trish: | No. There's a better way to deal with this. A little thing I like to call revenge. And we need your book to do it. (takes Ally's book) |
Ally: | I love it. (takes her book back) Don't touch my book. |
Interior. Sonic Boom | |
Nelson: | (walks in with a hobo; Ally turns around and sees this) Hey Ally, I'm here for my hobo lesson. |
Ally: | Uh, Nelson, it's an oboe lesson. Not a hobo lesson. |
Nelson: | Aw nartz! You know how hard it was to get him on the bus? (points to the hobo) Come on, Uncle Hank. (they leave just as Trish arrives) |
Trish: | Austin's coming! Lipstick! (throws lipstick to Ally; she puts it on) |
Ally picks up a doll resembling Austin; kisses doll's face and says Austin's name a few times. | |
Austin: | (slightly disturbed) Ally? What are you doing? Is that doll supposed to be me? |
Ally: | (in a faux-affectionate tone) Oh. Austin. Hi. Yes, it is. I was just practicing what I would do if you got bit by a rattlesnake... On the lips. It could happen, oh. |
Austin: | Good to know. So, you wanna work on our new song now? Here, where everyone can see us? |
Ally: | Uh, I can't right now. I'm busy. |
Trish: | What private thoughts are you writing in your book of secrets, Ally? |
Ally: | I'm just making a list of turn-offs. Things I don't like in a guy. Things that, if a guy did, I would definitely not be interested in him at all. |
Trish: | Cool. Wanna go to the Food Court and not come back for at least twenty minutes? |
Ally: | Sure. I'll just leave my book right here. |
The two girls leave the store, and just as they expected Austin picks up the book. | |
Devil Austin: | (materializes on Austin's right shoulder) Read it! It's staring right at you. |
Angel Austin: | (materializes on Austin's left shoulder) Don't read it. It's her private book. |
Devil Austin: | Read it! Then you'll know how to get Ally to not like you any more. |
Angel Austin: | Don't read it. |
Devil Trish: | (materializes next to Angel Austin) Guess who just got a job as your new conscience? |
Angel Austin: | Hey, that's my job. |
Devil Trish: | Not anymore. (pushes Angel Austin down; he screams and falls to his doom) Listen to the other guy. Read the book. |
Devil Austin & Devil Trish: | (continue to repeat themselves) Read it! Read it! (Austin finally opens the book) |
Austin: | Turn-offs. Guys with fake tans. Guys who sweat a lot. |
Interior. Sonic Boom | |
Austin: | (walks in with a fake tan and sweat stains) Hey, Ally. How do I look? |
Ally: | Orange. |
Austin: | I know right. Brings out the color in my eyes. |
Ally: | Ew, I hate fake tans. |
Austin: | Really? I did not know that. (shows off his sweat stains) |
Ally: | Uh, almost as much as I hate sweaty guys. |
Austin: | Also did not know that. |
Dez: | (walks in) Whoa, you look different! |
Austin: | Yeah. Cause I'm orange, and I'm sweaty. |
Dez: | No, that's not it. |
Austin: | That's exactly it. I'm trying to make Ally not have a crush on me, and it's working! She hates fake tans and sweaty guys! |
Dez: | Really wanna sweat? Try one of these volcano peppers. They are crazy hot. They only grow in molten lava. |
Austin: | Oh, perfect. Thanks. |
Dez: | The key is to take one little-(Austin bites and eats it all at once)-bite. |
Austin: | Uh! Uh! (looks for water; even steals a man's empty water bottle) |
Trish: | Austin! Good, you're here. South Beach Sound wants to do the interview with you right now. |
Austin: | What? I thought that was tomorrow. |
Trish: | They moved it to today. You look like a wet pumpkin. |
Austin: | I can't go on live TV like this. |
Host: | We're here on live TV with Austin Moon! Tell us about your new song. |
Austin: | Hot. Hot. |
Host: | Oh, I bet it is hot. What's it called? |
Austin: | Water! Water! |
Host: | Water! Water! Catchy, catchy. |
Austin: | Dez! Drink! Now! |
Dez: | Wasn't really thirsty now, but okay. (drinks some water) |
Host: | Are you nervous about being on live TV? You're kind of sweating a little. |
Austin: | Am I? Didn't notice. |
Host: | So, tell us about your music. |
Austin: | It's really, really fun, you know,... pepper's really hot! |
Host: | Okay, Austin, I have one last question for you. Why'd you read Ally's book? |
Austin: | Huh? |
Ally: | Y'know, my private book that I told you a million times not to touch. Why'd ya read it? |
Austin: | I-wait-is this the- |
Ally: | Fake interview to make you look stupid as punishment for reading my book? Yeah, that's exactly what it is! |
Ally & Trish: | (they high-five) Woo! |
Trish: | The camera crew was my idea. I'm really good at revenge. If there was a revenge store, I'd never get fired! |
Austin: | So that isn't the crew from South Beach Sound? |
Ally: | No, and I don't have a crush on you. |
Austin: | Oh, that's a relief. I thought I'd have to stay orange forever. Hey Dez, towel. |
Dez: | I'm not really sweaty, but okay. (wipes his sleeve-clad armpits with a towel) |
Austin: | Listen. I know I shouldn't have read your book. It was wrong, and I'm sorry. |
Ally: | I accept your apology. Um, but you know, uh, there's still one thing that bothers me. Why did you freak out so much when you thought I had a crush on you? Am I that horrible? |
Austin: | No, Ally, you got it all wrong. You're awesome! I did that stuff because you're my friend, and I don't want to jeopardize that. |
Ally: | I feel the same way. (Austin tries to hug her; she pushes him back) Let's hug when you're less orange and sweaty! |
Austin: | I'm just glad I didn't make a fool of myself on live TV. |
Ally: | Yeah. Trish wanted to put this whole thing on the Mall Jumbo-Tron, but I wouldn't let her. |
Austin: | Wow. She really is good at revenge. |
Ally: | The best! But you know I wouldn't embarrass you like that! Public humiliation is my worst nightmare. (it is revealed that Trish did, in fact, put the whole thing on the Mall Jumbo-Tron) That's why I freaked out about my book. I mean, I would die if anyone found out I have a crush on the cell phone accessory guy. (Trish runs up to Ally and whispers something) What? The Jumbo-Tron? I thought we weren't doing that! (she starts chewing her hair and slowly lowers herself) |
Interior. Mall of Miami | |
Announcer: | What's up, all of Miami? We are live on South Beach Sound with the one and only, Austin Moon! |
Austin: | This song was written by my good friend, Ally Dawson. It's called, Not a Love Song. (performs a shortened version of Not a Love Song) |
During Austin's performance, Dallas approaches Ally with surprisingly no awkwardness. Austin ends the song pointing at his keyboard player, apparently to congratulate him for a job well done. | |
(End credits show, End of Episode) |
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